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www.PeterAndTheVampires.com
- by Darren Pillsbury
PETER AND THE VAMPIRES is a horror/comedy web novel (and a free podcast!)about a normal, 10-year-old kid who moves into a sinister town filled with supernatural horribleness. The series is composed of different "monster of the week" stories - kind of like THE X-FILES crossed with THE SIMPSONS (if Mr. Burns were a ghoul and something terrifying lived in the town dump). "Peter And The Dead Men" is the first story in the collection. A new page is posted every day.
Blog Archive
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2010
(291)
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July
(16)
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 31
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 30
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 29
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 28
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 27
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 26
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 25
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 24
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 23
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 22
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 21
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 20
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 18 and 19
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 17
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 16
- "Peter And The Morgue" Page 14 and 15
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July
(16)
7 comments:
"…until your other am…" Gus commanded as he moved to undo the buckles pinning down Peter's legs.
Arm?
"…he and your mother are at the Hunstman's Lodge…"
Huntsman's?
Yeah, I had to reread the the "until your am" thing a couple of times to get it. If you were trying to go for a slurred effect, maybe you should stick an h or an apostrophe in there. Either way, I'm pretty sure that the until was supposed to be untie
hmmm, I wonder if that Catholic lady who wheeled Peter down past the morgue will become important to the story; she had a sense that things weren't right...
Gus is awesome. I'm glad his ancestors have put him on team Peter, even if its not for long!
I say it is still a good thing that Peter is still young, even then he might have a heart attack one of these days.
Hopefully it's just Gus turning Peter back around. I wonder what Grandpa will say when Peter tells him about the bodies trying to kill him.
Ooh that better be Gus grabbing Peter's arm... and even that's creepy enough!
Another possible typo: "and as he lurched towards, his movements reminded Peter of another person he had seen move like that." I think the "towards" should be a "forwards"? Also on the previous page, "Gus answered, repeated the Indian term for vampire", should be "repeating" to make the sentence flow.
Great, just great! Left with a creepy cliff hanger right before my trip to the hospital! Hopefully the zombies won't reach me on the top floor. :(
Todd -
My bad. Um called it: "untie your other arm."
You know, Hunstman! From the Germanic Hunsts of Hunstberg!
Um the Muse -
Nope, I was just typing too fast. You're right, it's "untie."
The Catholic lady? Naaah, we won't see her again.
...or will we?
She is, almost to a 'T,' the same lady who wheeled me down to get an x-ray on my first night at the hospital, just over a year ago. We went to get an x-ray at 2AM, she wheeled me past the morgue, and she crossed herself.
And I thought, "I GOTTA use this in a story."
DontPanik -
He is pretty awesome.
daymon34 -
He's probably already had a couple of minor ones.
Cat -
Good catch. I think I originally wrote "towards the door," but somehow 'the door' part got erased in the moment-by-moment rewriting.
And I concur on the 'repeating.'
Rai -
Awwww...don't worry, they won't. You're not in, near, or from Duskerville, so you're safe!
Thanks to everybody for the proofreading!
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