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www.PeterAndTheVampires.com
- by Darren Pillsbury
PETER AND THE VAMPIRES is a horror/comedy web novel (and a free podcast!)about a normal, 10-year-old kid who moves into a sinister town filled with supernatural horribleness. The series is composed of different "monster of the week" stories - kind of like THE X-FILES crossed with THE SIMPSONS (if Mr. Burns were a ghoul and something terrifying lived in the town dump). "Peter And The Dead Men" is the first story in the collection. A new page is posted every day.
Blog Archive
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2011
(103)
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March
(9)
- "Peter and the Boogeymen" Page 82
- "Peter and the Boogeymen" Page 80 and 81
- "Peter and the Boogeymen" Page 77 thru 79
- "Peter and the Boogeymen" Page 73 thru 76
- Dead Men Prologue
- "Peter and the Boogeymen" Page 70 thru 72
- "Peter and the Boogeymen" Page 68 and 69
- "Peter and the Boogeymen" Page 64 thru 67
- "Peter and the Boogeymen" Page 60 thru 63
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March
(9)
5 comments:
Wow, I wasn't expecting Fallon to actually let them walk out of there. Of course, getting out of the store is by no means equivalent to getting out of danger...
BTW, I think you may have a typo or something here: "I tried to kill it from killing Mike…"
Keep it from killing Mike, maybe?
WV: afted: (verb, past tense) 18th century pirate slang for putting something behind you.
Good catch, misslynx!
Fallon reminds me of my new coworker.
Wow, Dill shows his smarts again! I had to reread it several times to make sure it was Dill, because my brain wouldn't, couldn't accept that.
VW: syces: What the handles of scythes are called before the blade is added.
Hooray for family fueding!
As for the prologue, it's nice, but the story was also fine without it. I liked the background and setting before the "action" of Peter and the dead men. The prologue is nice, but you don't really need it to hook people. you don't need to cater to society's I need it now attitude. Let them wait for the good stuff, because the prologue seems like a spoiler.
my .02
P.S. Peter and the dead men is my favourite story, please don't alter it.
Misslynx -
Thanks for the proofread!
Todd -
Regarding your co-worker...watch your back, man.
Hoboe -
Haha! I like that your brain "wouldn't, COULDN'T accept it."
Jennifer -
Haha! One vote against the prologue, to strike a blow against our ADHD, "need it now" society!
And don't worry, the story is 99.9% unchanged. Just a few minor rewordings and deletions to make things smoother.
V-word:
deniasup: A social snub on 'the street.' When two ganstas are walking down the street, what one does to the other by not saying hello.
Gangsta 1: "'Sup, homey."
Gangsta 2: walks stonily by.
Gangsta 1's friend: "Oh snap, that was cold."
Gangsta 1 immediately shoots Gangsta 2 in the back.
Social protocol should be maintained at all times.
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