Saturday, May 9, 2009

"Peter And The Mannequins" Page 53

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2 comments:

Sion Ewig said...

No, the boys aren't haveing any problems with this one, if anything they've been yelling for more hitting, LOL. They just don't seem to have any fear from this story, not that that is a bad thing necessarily. You just never can tell what's going to get to them. They are enjoying the story no matter what, which I believe is what you hope.

One thing back on page 51 you write

"Grimoire swung the shotgun through the air like he was chopping wood with an ax. The wooden handle thudded directly into Grandfather’s gut, and he doubled over in pain."

All of the boys fussed over you calling it a "handle" instead of a "stock."

Darren said...

Hmmm...good point about the stock. I'm changing that right now. Tell them they're helping change the way the story's being written!

And I'm glad they're not scared, and that the violence isn't too much. I was worried that I was going over a line (with my younger audiences) with Grimoire's actions.