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www.PeterAndTheVampires.com
- by Darren Pillsbury
PETER AND THE VAMPIRES is a horror/comedy web novel (and a free podcast!)about a normal, 10-year-old kid who moves into a sinister town filled with supernatural horribleness. The series is composed of different "monster of the week" stories - kind of like THE X-FILES crossed with THE SIMPSONS (if Mr. Burns were a ghoul and something terrifying lived in the town dump). "Peter And The Dead Men" is the first story in the collection. A new page is posted every day.
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2010
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January
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- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 30
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 29
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 28
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 27
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 26
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 24 and 25
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 23
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 22
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 21
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 20
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 19
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 18
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 17
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 16
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 14 and 15
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 13
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 12
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 11
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 10
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 9
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 8
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 7
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 6
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 5
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 4
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 3
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 2
- "Peter And The Small Ones" Page 1
- "Peter And The Frankenstein" Page 84 and 85
- "Peter And The Frankenstein" Page 82 and 83
- "Peter And The Frankenstein" Page 80 and 81
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January
(31)
7 comments:
Very clever wording with Dill's jokes - he was the one thoroughly offended when interrupted. Me like. Now is this going to start of a cascade of off-colour jokes in the comments?
Has anyone read Jasper Fforde's Nursery Crimes series? I ask because one of the main villains is the horrific serial killer the Gingerbreadman, who pulls the arms and legs off his victims. Definitely worth a read.
Aindlin = Street slang for having an interpretive dance-off.
"And where were you when you saw the attackers?"
"I was, like, aindlin wiv ma bruvs outside the bakery, like, and Kev and Dan ad just got to the nature of the soul and the 'uman spirit when we 'eard this crash from inside, like..."
Wow. Grandfather can read Hebrew? I guess with how much he reads... So cool. <3 Grandfather.
Before this goes any further, I must point out that gingerbread cookie dough is not pastry.
Now if they had been evil crossaints....
Oh so it is a poorly translated spell. No wonder they killed him, but why was he creating golems.
And now they are making more of themselfs, I wonder what they are going to do but hurt people.
Rubberduck - I'm another Fforde Ffan. Are you on the Nextian Chat fforum on Jasper's site?
I'm a big fan. Anyone who hasn't read any Jasper Fforde, there's bound to be a book or two at the local library.
VW: domali
Italian ingredient in gingerbread dough which reacts with gluten to create the "Do Evil" syndrome.
By the way, I can remember the line "Tricks are for Kids" from somewhere, but I don't remember exactly where. Can anyone jog my memory?
[edit] I've been rejected! (sniff)
New VW - exeregin
A form of alcohol used to restore body health after completing a marathon run.
For those of you wondering what the joke Dill was referring to (NOT the one where the rabbi and priest walk into a bar...)
(It's important to know first that there is a breakfast cereal commercial from the 80's and 90's where a rabbit was always trying to steal Trix cereal. He was invariably foiled, at which point the children would say, "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!")
And now, the joke:
There once was a rabbi who lived in the valley of a people called Trids. He was a great comfort to them, for a giant lived in the mountains and would come down into the valley and kick villagers around. One day the rabbi got fed up and tracked down the giant, shouting at him, "You think you're so tough, well why don't you kick ME then?" Replied the giant: "Silly rabbi...kicks are for Trids."
...I didn't say it was a GOOD joke.
Rubberduck -
Off-colour jokes? HERE?
Heavens to mergatroid, NO. Those would be deleted.
Rai -
Grandfather can read a LOT of languages, actually. Maybe not super well, since he's mostly self-taught, but he's probably fluent in...well, we'll get there some day.
Fiona -
I think Grandfather was having a bit of fun when he said it. And for Dill, if it's sweet and it's not cake, pie, or fruit, it's close enough.
daymon34 -
Yes, why would he be doing that? Hmmmm...
MistyCat -
I shall have to check out this dude at some point.
BUT BUT BUT
Pie IS pastry!
Of course pie could never be evil
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