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www.PeterAndTheVampires.com
- by Darren Pillsbury
PETER AND THE VAMPIRES is a horror/comedy web novel (and a free podcast!)about a normal, 10-year-old kid who moves into a sinister town filled with supernatural horribleness. The series is composed of different "monster of the week" stories - kind of like THE X-FILES crossed with THE SIMPSONS (if Mr. Burns were a ghoul and something terrifying lived in the town dump). "Peter And The Dead Men" is the first story in the collection. A new page is posted every day.
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2010
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May
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- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 81
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 80
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 79
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 78
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 77
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 76
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 75
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 73 and 74
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 72
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 71
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 70
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 69
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 67 and 68
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 66
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 64 and 65
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 63
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 62
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 61
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- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 59
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 58
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 56 and 57
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 55
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 54
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 53
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 52
- "Peter And The Snow Demon" Page 51
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May
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7 comments:
Just for fun, I'm going to pretend Gus' chanting actually is a delirious Australian, and helpfully translate.
“Yanowa, kanna shoah! Tecunseyah aloah, mehana soll!”
"Ya know what? Kinda sure! They can see ya a lower, me ha' no soul!"
That is all.
Wadiste = A schoolboy, if he is diligent will rise up the ranks of spitball achievement, all the way to Sharpshooter...but everyone starts as a novice wadist.
I think that the phrase, "what he did see frightened the hell out of him" is out of character for the narrator of Peter. We've had a few swearwords, but it's very rare, and this one doesn't seem to fit, somehow.
Also, how did Gus get to them so quickly? Does he have his own snow machine?
Dangit, just when I start to like someone...
Guess we can't have two crotchety old men in this story.
Although I'd sure have liked for Gus and Grandfather to meet!
I know what you mean, Um, but I think the phrase works anyway. I know Peter doesn't use strong language, but I think the sentence needs a strong word. Something like "frightened the life out of him" wouldn't have the same impact - it sounds like how you'd describe your friend jumping out at you and shouting "boo", rather than your feelings about a terrifying snow demon.
I really hope Stu and Gus survive! I know the chances are at least one of them will die (probably Gus so Stu can feel crippling guilt for the rest of his life!), but I still want them to live! (Especially as it gives Rubberduck a chamce to translate Gus's foreign language into barely-intelligible Australian and thence into English :) )
WV: swedee. A pleasant-tasting root vegetable given to children in Sweden in place of sweeties.
I think you forgot that Gus is native and not Australian, Stu is from down under.
And boy a hit from Snowy is going to leave a mark, talk about one big guy.
I hope Gus does not go the way of Charlie.
word verification: fentsmsh
Rubberduck -
That...explains everything.
Um the Muse -
Hmmm...you're probably right. Let me mull it over.
The only problem is I've used about 200 phrases to depict Peter's fear. Usually I use ice water, shivering, cold, etc. as descriptive terms but in a snowy setting...well, I probably just went for the gut punch.
Mary -
I actually went back and forth on it for awhile...you'll have to wait to see...
Cat -
Thanks, Cat - who knows, maybe I'll keep it in there.
daymon34 -
Huh? Which part do you mean about native vs. Australian?
todd -
Hmmmmmmm...
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